A Gentleman or a Jerk?

Back to the Main Blog Page.

I am active on a website called Quora.com. It is a place where people can ask and/or answer questions. It is a fascinating site that can suck years of your time reading or pointificating. I have millions of views for my answers. Maybe ten people agree with me, but millions of views. I was asked this question:

What is the smallest thing a person ever did for you that impacted your life?

I was about eighteen, shy, thin, poor, and an artist (maybe I should have led with that). I was living in a factory town that did not appreciate anyone who didn’t fit in, and I didn’t.

I was raised to be a gentleman and to be nice to everyone. This is not a popular thing when you are young, and people often misunderstand it as a weakness.

I was getting gas for my vehicle, and I was dealing with being rejected a few hours earlier by a girl who I really liked. She told me that I was too polite and nice.

I paid for my gas inside and walked to the convenience store’s doorway leading out to the parking lot. I was on the cusp of deciding to stop being polite and nice.

I stepped out and noticed an older black man was walking up to the door. He was likely in his eighties, dressed in a tailored suit, and wearing a short-brimmed stylish hat, as if he was coming from church. Without thinking, I held it open for him and smiled.

So much for my new tough guy plan.

He doffed his porkpie hat to me and said the words that changed my life. With a twinkle in his eyes, he said, “You, sir, are a gentleman.”

I beamed. Yes, he’s right. That is who I am, and, as importantly, it’s who I want to be.

He probably never knew just how important his kind words were to the man that I would become.

I remember him and the gas station, but don’t even remember the name or even the face of the woman who had told me I was too nice.

What you say to others matters; sometimes those words shape someone’s life. Life is grand when we treat everyone with kindness and care.

Back to the Main Blog Page.