Dungeons & Doofuses

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An Introduction to my D&D and Runequest experiences and how it shaped my writing.

Dungeons and Doofusses

My wise wife suggested that I write some of the fun stories from my days playing D&D and RuneQuest. So, we cannot blame her as she may not completely realize what this means.

Intro to the illness

The Hobbit was my gateway drug. It was given to me when I was in 4th grade. I am not naming names as the statutes of limitations have passed. They probably thought it would sedate me; it must have worked as they then gave me The Lord of The Rings.

Gandalf declared, “None Shall Pass!”

As he was busy at that moment, he used shorthand. Translation: “You are not going to get past your obsession with epic stories of mythological beings set in incredible magical realms. You are going to spend untold amounts of money, time, and care on some amazing characters faced against overwhelming odds. You are going to confuse others by your passion—and you will think it is their loss.”

I had been introduced to D&D back as a college Freshman in 1979, by some close friends I met in fencing class. These guys (and later gals) were so funny, extremely smart, decisive, and talented and that made the games exciting, fast, and addictive. With enormous efficiency and creativity, we blew up modules that we bought, we blew up modules we made. What made it work was the DM (Dungeon Master) David E.

DMs are the gods of the game. They are the organizer, storyteller, the brains that set up campaigns to test characters, lead them, engage them, and roll dice on behalf of the game’s monsters and traps, and they are the final say on EVERYTHING that happens.

David is a rare DM and gamer. He was organized, quick-witted, a strategist, and he laughed when he rolled badly and took the hits when he did. What made him completely rare as a DM was that he did not put his ego into the game. His goal was to make it fun, challenge us, and let us go wild without being too easy on the players.

Some DM are crafty, pompous, power-hungry, and vindictive, and they often show favoritism and malice. If they like you, your character gets lots of breaks. If you get on their wrong side, just close it down and move on, or your characters will die from a miraculously lucky and humiliating hit in a battle or falling off a bar stool . . .

Some DM are just out of their depths. Minutes of them staring at modules trying to figure out how to get the players back in line. Quiet dice rolling and frowning.

Some DM hand out magical artifacts like potato chips and soft drinks. Second-level fighters with 14th-level super-swords.

That is a passible intro to my experiences.

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